He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
