I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
