wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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