The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
