My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
