My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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