Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
