He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sobbing to NWA
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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