I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
