You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
