Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
