We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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