i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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