Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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