Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
