Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So here I am, sexting at work.
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