Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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