Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
where are you?
Hypothermia
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
