Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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