i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
from now on my penis is your penis
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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