I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
