why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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