Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
