Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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