what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
