haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
