I smell stomach acid.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
