I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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