All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
