we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just pee around me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize