I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
