Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
