i was born a porn star she said
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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