You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry my hands just texted you
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
