Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
