so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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