how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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