Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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