I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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