I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He did a backflip because drugs
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
