Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize