I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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