u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
