Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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