Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
