maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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