Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
