i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
