Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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