I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
