Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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