Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
