i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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