I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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