that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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