He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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