You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
