I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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