Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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