just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
