Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
