Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am mentally ready for anal.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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