She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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